America, I love you. But sometimes your battle cries are both as appalling as they are hilarious. BUT FEAR NOT! I have a solution: Every time a species gets upgraded on the endangered species list, we take away one staple from the American diet. For example: Grizzly Bears go extinct? NO MORE BACON, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Jag borde ha lärt mig att jag inte ska dricka något samtidigt som jag läser The Oatmeals senaste serie. Kanske till nästa gång.